i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize