Will you blow on my dice?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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