Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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