PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
