is your mom at the bar?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
