I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
