Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize