Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
