I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
