I'm drive I can fine osifer
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
