She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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