I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
