he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
