so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
