No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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