we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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