I seem to have left my pride at pride
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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