Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
