Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
