id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
