Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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