I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
