Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize