why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
