Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
