am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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