i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
