just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
