I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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