i think my tv is drunk
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
