remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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