Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
