There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We left the knife in your bed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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