At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
