so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
