dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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