im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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