pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
