Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
