Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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