we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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