I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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