i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
