I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize