I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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