I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
