I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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