break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
