bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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