OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
