Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
