I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
