It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
