I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
