I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
