Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I am one with the molecules
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
