the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
