NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
