He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
