So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My life is pants optional.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
