i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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