Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
