exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
