Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
plz talk dirty to me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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