im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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