did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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