There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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