yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
