this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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